So on the even of the release of what I think will be the biggest (and best) movie of the summer, "The Dark Knight", I thought I would talk a little bit about the summer movies thus far and give a little preview of what's in store for the rest of the season. I've seen nearly all the big blockbusters to this point and plan on seeing the rest of them, but as you'll see, not all summer blockbusters are created equal.

Jon's Mega-List of Summer Flicks
(in order of sucking hardest to actually a good movie)

The Happening
Wow, what a piece of shit. I could write more, but why waste my time. Don't waste yours by seeing it.

Get Smart
"Get Smart" stars Steve Carrell, Anne Hathaway and Duane "Don't call me The Rock Because I'm a serious actor now" Johnson in this remake of the 1960's-era Don Adams series. And it sucks. There were too many moments that were trying so hard to capture the irrerverant humor of the original series and too many ways in which Steve Carell (on purpose or completely by accident) was channeling Don Adams. It's a lose-lose situation, really when the studio is telling you, "you have to say this line" when no matter how you say it, it will be imitating a comic genius. AND the movie isn't funny. At all.

Hancock
A movie about a lonely superhero who doesn't want to be a superhero. Until he is talked into it by a crappy PR guy and his hot wife. And then there's a twist that sucks. Will Smith is good and all and I really like Jason Bateman, but the action scenes in this movie seem to have been directed by a five-year old with Lupus. Oh and the twist sucks!

The Incredible Hulk
I've enjoyed the fact that the creators of these superhero movies are actually getting talented thespians to fill the shoes of their larger-than-life characters now, rather than just picking someone that kinda looks like the guy that used to do it (see: Superman Returns). Edward Norton takes on Bruce Banner in this go-round of the Hulk franchise, not ignoring the original, but not really acknowledging it's presence either. Liv Tyler is the chick and Tim Roth is the bad guy and does a fine job. This movie was ok, but it lacked something...oh yeah, excitement. I was bored.

Indiana Jones
I saw this twice. I liked it the first time and hated it the second. It should probably be lower on the list, but since I kinda averaged it out, this is where it falls. I think the main reason I liked it the first time is because I was so excited to see this movie. And then teh second time I could see it for what it was and realize that it was actually a pretty bad movie. A pretty bad movie with a dumb ending that barely makes sense.

Wanted
This movie was actually really fun and pretty good. Nice and bloody and action-y, Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy shot lots of guns, kill bunches of people and make lots of money. IF you like your movies all style no substance, then you'll love this one.

Iron Man
Everything that wasn't an action scene in this movie was awesome. Robert Downey Jr. is possibly the greatest actor working today that isn't named Daniel Day Louis and he does a great job here. All the Tony Stark scenes (that's Iron Man's name when he's just a suit-less schmuck like the rest of us, except he is a mega-billionaire, which is like almost none of us) are fantastic, but the fights were just kinda run-o'-the mill. Shame.

Wall-E
This movie is just the depressing, cynical, dystopian film you expect Pixar to make every year! Kidding. I was blown away by how dark this film really is under the surface of pretty colors and cute robots. It's funny how it takes a cartoon about robots in the future to provide the most biting and accurate social commentary on how shitty our culture is and how bad it will probably get. Fantastic movie - definitely go see it.

Now let's take a look at what's to come for the rest of the summer:

The Dark Knight
Yes, please.

Step Brothers
Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly re-team for this seemingly funny movie about two middle-aged men that become step-brothers and hate each other at first. I will see it, but will not be surprised if it's either hilarious or a suck-fest.

X-Files I Want To Believe
Shitty title. I'm curious to how a movie based on a tv-series that hasn't been on television in like five years will do at the box office. I used to really like the X-Files when it was first on, but once it strayed into Robert Patrick territory I kinda gave up. I'll see it but not expecting to much of it. Though it is cool in the trailer where the guy from Head of the Class bleeds black blood from his eyeballs. I'm in favor of that.

Tropic Thunder
Ben Stiller directs again, which makes me happy. And he's making an R-rated action comedy and not Night at the Museum 2 (yet). The cast is good (yay Robert Downey Jr and Steve Coogan) and the premise is pretty good. The trailers look funny too, which is nice.

There's a few others that I want to see, but I saw a trailer today for a movie that made me very very very very angry. Watch it, below.



So basically what they've done is completely rip off Superbad and combined it with American Pie. They even have the normal, average, skinny kid, the fat kid and the geeky nerd kid that is just so happy to be getting laid at any point in his life. IT'S A DIRECT RIP-OFF. Are you kidding me? Couldn't they have at least changed one of those stock characters and tried to hide it a little? REALLY LAME.

Anyway that's it for now. Till next time.

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