I Like Lists

Lists are awesome. They are a good writing tool because they provide form and structure and are a way to expand thinking. And as I was walking to the subway this morning I realized that I didn't write on Friday and already failed on my mission to write every day (workday). And the I started thinking about how much I like Fridays and then brought me to the idea for this list:

My Favorite Days of the Week (In Reverse Order):

7. Monday
Yeah, pretty obvious here. But let's talk about why I hate Monday's so much, even though it's painfully (oh so painful) obvious.

So you have a good weekend - sleep in late, maybe do some responsible drinking with some responsible friends and then all of a sudden a thought hits you late Sunday night: "Oh shit, I have to work (insert one of the following if you don't work: 'go to school', 'clean my bathroom', 'sit on the couch and drink just like I did today', 'get an aids test') tomorow." This is accompanied by a "sad face" (ie: : ( ).

And then Monday arrives and it blows even more than you thought it would. You wake up, stare at the alarm clock for a while and then get up, with the expectation of another long, long week. Friday seems oh so far away. Blah.

6. Sunday (ESPECIALLY post 6pm)
Sunday is a weekend day, so you might expect it to be higher on the list. No such luck. See, all of Sunday is covered by a creeping feeling that tomorrow is WORK. It's hard to enjoy a day when you're constantly thinking about how much it sucks that the weekend is already over. AND plenty of times you had such a good time on Saturday that you're totally hungover on Sunday (whether from having a lot of pure fun or from having a lot of DRINKS).

Don't let it fool you, Sunday is shitty - almost as bad as Monday.

5. Wednesday
I hate Wednesday this much because of how people call it "hump day". What a misleading term for a day! This is potentially devastating to the millions of sexually deficient people in this country. There you are, Mr. No-Sex, coming to work on Wednesday, happy that it's the middle of the week even though you haven't felt the touch of another human being in 7 years, and then someone (maybe a good looking woman, maybe your dad) calls out, "Happy Hump Day!". You think to youself, "could this be the day?" "Is this the day that I've been waiting 7 years for?" "The Day when they give out free sex to the sexless men and women of this country?" And then you remember that it's just a shitty expression for another shitty day.

4. Tuesday
I used to like Tuesdays. It used to be the day that the best show ever was on, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". And I'm totally not being snarky, it really was the best show ever. So for 7 years, Tuesdays were probably higher on this list - maybe ever #2. But now it resides here at 4th. It provides the hopefulness that "at least it's not Monday" and it is completely average in every other way.

3. Saturday
Why isn't Saturday higher on the list? That's a great question and continue scrolling down to find out. Saturday is cool though. We're buddies, Saturday and I, don't sweat it. Just because I'm not putting it higher on the list doesn't mean we're not pals. Seriously. We're cool. Just going through a bit of a rough patch right now. But seriously, we're alllllllll right. Stop asking me about it.

2. Friday
Fridays are great. Especially Summer Fridays. but Winter Fridays are good too. Friday is the last day of the typical work week and holds all the promise that this weekend is gonna be GREAT. Maybe last weekend sucked, but not this one coming up starting today at 5pm! This one is gonna f-ing rock! Or at least, that's what we tell ourselves every, single Friday. The reality probably actually lies somewhere between "pretty good" and "okay, but not amazing". And that's ok with me, just the CHANCE that this weekend is gonna beat all the rest is enough for most Americans to easily get through this day.

And that is sad.

1. Thursday
Thursday! Woo! It's Lost Day!

My favorite show currently on TV isn't the only reason that Thursday is so great. While Friday holds so much promise of what tomorrow brings, Thursday does even more! Thursday, being the day before Friday, allows you to think, "Oh, thank God tomorrow is Friday! Just one more day to get through before an AWESOME (read: pretty okay) weekend!".

And that too makes me sad.


There you have it. My list of favorite days.

I'm really lame!

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